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.Monday, May 4, 2009 ' 7:33 AM

Maybe...

Maybe it was something I did. Like not eating lunch and having gastric.

Or maybe.... it was something else I did. Like studying frantically and making use of the limited time I have.

Well.... I just don't know anymore. It's hard to balance two sides of the issue, hard to please every aspect of life and hard to make everyone happy. Is it wrong to work hard? Am I working too hard? Or am I not working hard enough? Life is an epitome of contradictions; it's impossible to find the right path to take at every given time.

Today, I neglected lunch to complete my maths tutorial. Of course, gastric followed soon after, and it was harder than I thought, leaving me incapacitated for a few hours. My.... my friend.... a close friend of mine, took the initiative and prepared her gastric survival kit after her H3 lessons. It was very sweet of her, and it eased my pain considerably. However, things aren't so pretty.

After the CO practice, we went to eat together, and proceeded home afterwards. She insisted on seeing me home, which I feel is very awkward and probably a waste of time, but she did so anyway. However, she denied me any studying on the bus, even though I felt well enough to do so, and gradually she turned angry and ignored me, returning me my writing materials. This is the part I do not understand. I am studying so hard for the future, and she is somehow trying to obscure my goal. Why? Why does life have to be so demanding? I, for one, am not a foolhardy person, I know my limits and acknowledge them, and I feel well enough to study at that instance. But enough of that, lets move on.

Afterwards, we got off the bus, and she had to see me home to my doorstep, which I feel is a little too extreme. Furthermore, she was beginning to show signs of fatigue but she refuses to go home first. I understand that she's caring for me, but this is... or rather, the next part is ridiculous. I wanted to see her home from my home instead, and she got angry again. Concern, for one, isn't a one way thing, it involves the mutual love and care from both parties.

Oh well, at least I saw her home, by cheating a little. That's good enough for me.

-Pleinair







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